Some people think that offenders should be put in prison. Others, however, believe that providing offenders with education and training is more effective than putting them in prison. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Offenders are the ones who have committed a crime , that somehow affects the moral fabric of our society.
While
Linking Words
some public thinks that the best way to deal with
such
Linking Words
criminals is to put them in prison, others,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Linking Words
, prefer providing them with education and training.
This
Linking Words
essay will throw light on both these views
along with
Linking Words
my opinion In my opinion, lawbreakers who have committed grave crimes should be imprisoned who have committed serious crimes like murdering someone.
Such
Linking Words
culprits do not deserve any mercy for their heinous activities, as their activities have more far-reaching implications than expected so they should not be spared from getting imprisoned.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they set a wrong example and their presence in society poses harm to the public in their vicinity .
However
Linking Words
, criminals who have committed petty crimes like theft, shouldn't be imprisoned because imprisonment has a detrimental effect on the psychological well-being of an individual.
Such
Linking Words
individuals should rather be given education or training to change their mindset and make them ready for a job. By doing so, they can start their new lives in a much better way than suffering inside a prison.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they should not be made to suffer just because of committing a minor crime. They deserve a second chance to restart their life, after getting the requisite education and training. In conclusion, it is imperative to state that , depending on the severity of the crime, criminals should be dealt
Linking Words
accordingly
Change preposition
with accordingly
show examples
with
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
statutes of the laws
Submitted by suchintansingh2020 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the examples provided are more specific and relevant to the points being made. This will strengthen the argument and support the main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are generally well-maintained, but there is room for improvement in the use of linking words and phrases to create a more logical flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrent
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Vocational training
  • Retributive justice
  • Reintegration
  • Taxpayers
  • Social isolation
  • Stigmatization
  • Criminal identity
  • Self-esteem
  • Public opinion
  • Societal gains
  • Offenders
  • Imprisonment
  • Cost-effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: