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Writing Samples
Band 7

10.) These days internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university based courses, some students prefer this type of learning because they do not attend lectures, others argue that it is important to study at the University. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays internet-based
courses
Use synonyms
 have become a modern alternative to university-based
courses
Use synonyms
, some
students
Use synonyms
 prefer
this
Linking Words
 method of studying because of not showing up to lectures, and others argue that studying at university is important. The following supports and examples will be discussed below.
First,
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one
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 of the most common advantages of internet-based
courses
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 is lower fees
while
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 university fees have been more expensive lately. To attend the class, the scholars not only need to spend money for daily living and tuition but
also
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 waste time commuting to the campus.
Moreover
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, online coursework allows
students
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 to learn more than
one
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 specific major which is a strengthening point in applying the jobs because many companies now look for various abilities in candidates.
For example
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, the New York Times’s Poll showed that 80 per cent of undergraduate
students
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 are interested in learning more than
one
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 subject and want to graduate quickly as soon as possible to start their own careers.
On the other hand
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, the fatigue from staring at the computer for a long time leads those studying at home to lose focus more easily than those joining the lectures because internet-based
courses
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 mainly teach knowledge in
one
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 way but not enough practising activity.
For instance
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, the executive of the University of Manhattan states that online class requires the learner to have more effort and discipline to graduate with the degree when compared with
students
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 studying in the classroom.
In addition
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, communication with each other will be dropped
due to
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 no classmates.
One
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 way learning can’t provide enough response which is the primary key to working with others in the future.
To conclude
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, these days internet-based
courses
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 have become a popular choice for school-based
courses
Use synonyms
. Many
students
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 enjoy
this
Linking Words
 type of learning
due to
Linking Words
 not attending the lectures, others stated that studying at universities is still crucial. Online coursework has its own pros and cons. The strengths are less spending money, saving much time and increased tuition opportunities
while
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 the weaknesses are the scholars have less concentration on studying and conversation.

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relevant specific examples
Improve on providing relevant and specific examples to strengthen arguments. In the essay, the examples given are somewhat general, such as the New York Times’s Poll, which lacks specific context. Try including more detailed examples that directly relate to the points being made.
complete response
In task response, ensure your response completely answers all parts of the prompt. While your essay addresses the topic well, try to analyze both views with equal depth. This will result in a more balanced discussion.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear logical structure, with a coherent flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear focus and contributes to the overall argument, which enhances readability.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively setting the stage for your argument and summarizing your points at the end. This helps in providing a rounded discussion.
supported main points
Your essay covers the main points well and they are supported adequately. There is a good balance between the points discussed for online courses and traditional university courses.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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