IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that technology, such as mobile phones, cell phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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In my opinion, I totally agree with the fact that digital technology like smartphones, laptops and telecommunication devices, are all hindering the social exchange and interactions amongst different sections of our society. Though these electronic gadgets have helped us to meet people across the world, they have actually taken us away from our own families.
Although
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 it affects various sections of our population, it has detrimental effects on teenagers and kids , who waste their precious time on
such
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 technologies.
First
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, kids
instead
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 of playing outside in the open playgrounds , play games on these smartphones which affects their physical as well as mental development. Today, myopic vision is so common amongst school children because of the overuse of
such
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 technology, as the light rays coming out of the device ultimately affect the tender eyes of the children. Research
also
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 explains how these telecommunication tools disrupt their sleep cycles.
Second
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, teenagers waste their valuable time on these gadgets, especially using social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,etc. ,due to which they are unable to concentrate on their studies.
This
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 eventually affects their academic scores
thus
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 leading to poor performance. Sometimes they commit suicide under societal pressure owing to
such
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 low scores. Sometimes they
also
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 misuse these social media platforms to commit crimes and frauds, which are
then
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 tracked down by cyber security professionals, leading to their arrest and
further
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 destruction of their careers. In conclusion, It is imperative to mention that the negative effects of technology far outweigh its benefits. It has far-reaching implications and ripple effects.
Therefore
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, its use should only be exercised in moderation, or else our future generations would be doomed forever.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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