SOME PEOPLE SAY MUSIC IS A GOOD WAY OF BRINGING PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTURES AND AGES TOGETHER.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some

people

believe that

music

is a great way of uniting

people

of varying cultures and ages.

This

essat

Correct your spelling

essay

completely agrees with

this

statement because

music

shows

serves

Change the verb form

serve

show examples

as a platform for socialization and

bridges

Wrong verb form

bridging

show examples

cultural differences amongst

people

To begin

with

Add a comma

,with

show examples

music

concerts

creates

Correct subject-verb agreement

create

show examples

an avenue for

people

to socialize. During events,

people

from all walks of life come together to listen to various

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

music

. Irrespective of their background

people

are seen to make new friends and acquantance.

Also

night clubs

Correct your spelling

nightclubs

show examples

people

dance and make merry to

music

. They end up sharing contacts during

this

period. An example is the recent Ghana

music

awards

Change the capitalization

show examples

attended with my uncle, I made a new friend after we both danced to davidos new afrobeat song.

Secondly

music

helps in understanding other cultures. During festivals musici s used as a tool to narrate

histories

Correct article usage

the histories

show examples

and origins of

people

People

are able to understand the way of

lifes

Correct your spelling

life

of others through

this

form of communication.

Also

irrespective of your ethnic background,

theres

Correct your spelling

there's

show examples

always a common national song that everyone is in tune with. a typical example is the Ghana National anthem which every Ghanaian rises to, whenever

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

played. To conclude,

music

brings all and sundry through creating

Add an article

an avenue

show examples

avenue

Fix the agreement mistake

avenues

show examples

for socialization and striking cultural differences amongst

people

Submitted by awojay on Wed Oct 05 2022

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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SOME PEOPLE SAY MUSIC IS A GOOD WAY OF BRINGING PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTURES AND AGES TOGETHER.TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?

Your opinion

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why this is the case? What can be done about this p

Cars have become convenient and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created and offer some practical solutions.