SOME PEOPLE SAY MUSIC IS A GOOD WAY OF BRINGING PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTURES AND AGES TOGETHER. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some

people

believe that

music

is a great way of uniting

people

of varying cultures and ages.

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement because

music

shows serve as a platform for socialization and

bridges

Change the verb form

bridge

show examples

the gap in cultural differences

amongst

Change preposition

among

show examples

people

To begin

with,concerts create an avenue for

people

to socialize. During events,

people

from all walks of life come together to listen to good tunes of varying genres. Irrespective of their background

people

are seen to make new friends and

acquantance

Correct your spelling

acquaintance

acquaintances

Also

in nightclubs

people

dance and make merry to

music

. They end up sharing contacts during

this

period. An example is the recent Ghana

music

awards I attended with my uncle, I made a new friend after we both danced to

davidos

Correct your spelling

videos

David's

new afrobeat song.

Secondly

,society is unified through songs, in spite of diverse cultures. During

festivals

Add a comma

,festivals

show examples

songs are used as a tool to narrate the history and origin of

people

As a result

people

are able to understand the way of life of others through

this

form of communication.

In addition

,a better understanding of other

peoples

Change noun form

people's

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

through great

music

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

enables individuals to accept the.

Also

irrespective of your ethnic background,there is always a common national song that everyone is in tune with. A typical example is the Ghana National anthem which every Ghanaian rises to, whenever it is played. To sum up,

music

brings all and sundry together

through

Change preposition

show examples

creating avenues for socialization and striking cultural differences amongst everyone.

Submitted by awojay on Wed Oct 05 2022

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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SOME PEOPLE SAY MUSIC IS A GOOD WAY OF BRINGING PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT CULTURES AND AGES TOGETHER. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE

Your opinion

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.