Media surrounds us, from the shows we watch on television to the music we listen to on the radio. How does the media affect society? Do you agree that the impact of media has more disadvantages than benefits?

Since the advent of TV and movies, they have brought a lot of influence on human lives.

Use synonyms

Media

Correct article usage

The media

show examples

plays a major role in people's individual and social

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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Although

Linking Words

many take the view that

this

Linking Words

dominance may have more disadvantages than positive effects , I believe that the advantages of

Use synonyms

media

Correct article usage

the media

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weigh more

Verb problem

outweigh the disadvantages

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. On the one hand , the

media

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leads to depression and anxiety by spreading negative news . It is proven that negative news grabs attention much more easily, and negativity provokes a deeper and stronger reaction in our brains.

Also

Linking Words

, social

media

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increases feelings of discontent by creating unrealistic expectations

from

Change preposition

for

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life.

For example

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, fashion shows cause dissatisfaction with body image as they show perfect bodies as

accepted

Correct article usage

the accepted

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ones.

However

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, the major role of

media

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in increasing awareness in different fields of science and technology can not be denied. We live in an era where scientists and technologists are pushing back the frontiers of knowledge every day. So it is of great importance that individuals can keep updated to benefit from these advancements.

Punctuation problem

apply

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Linking Words

Moreover

Punctuation problem

Moreover,

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amusement is necessary to overcome the negative impacts of the fast pace of modern life that imposes lots of pressure on society .

For instance

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, Many students and employees relax after a stressful day at school or work by watching a comedy movie.

To conclude

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although

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there might be some cons to the widespread use of

media

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, the huge positive impact it has on spreading knowledge and happiness should not be ignored .

m_sepahi

Oct 6, 2022

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planning

Plan more before writing. Make a clear list of ideas to show the tech and media facts, then write in order.

coherence

Link sentences with better transitions. This makes the flow smooth.

structure

Keep the view steady. The first paragraph should show your main view; the body should support it, and the conclusion should sum it up.

grammar

Check grammar and punctuation. Fix comma slips and run-on sentences.

lexical resource

Use simple but exact words. Avoid long odd phrases; use clear phrases.

examples

Give more strong, concrete example from real life or studies to back ideas.

strength

Clear stance that benefits of media outweigh costs.

strength

Some good examples used (body image, relaxation).

strength

Uses linking words like 'On the one hand' and 'However'.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

media
society
information
news
education
connect
alert
health
safety
bias
fake
truth
source
advertisement
data
privacy
time
sleep
mind
mood
fear
trend
culture
responsibility
literacy
limit
choice
think
check
plan
discuss
opinion
influence
impact
trust

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