Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world, a large number of new generation people from countryside areas have more and more immigrated to the urban area to search for better opportunities in occupation and education. In
this
Linking Words
essay, the cause of immigration will be presented, and the negative implications of the situation
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
reached. The first reason that contributes to youth leaving their remote hometown, and moving to the urban is the chance to have better well-being by having a well-paid career and studying in prestigious schools and universities. As it is apparent that the capital city of almost every country in the world has more job availability, high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, and constant company, many young who seek a better life make a decision to leave their home and family behind to get a job in the capital.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many well-known universities and schools are always located in economic cities
such
Linking Words
as Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Khon Kan, and Songkhla, Thailand.
Although
Linking Words
there are various greater opportunities to get jobs and
well
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
study, these can result in adverse effects on individuals,
To begin
Linking Words
, people who leave their homes and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
can suffer from anxiety and depression
due to
Linking Words
living alone for a long time.
According to
Linking Words
my experience, being an exchange student at Bogor
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
, Indonesia for 4 months made me homesick because I missed my mom and my sister so much.
Secondly
Linking Words
, despite getting a high salary, living in the capital can increase the monthly payment compared to living in remote areas.
For example
Linking Words
, they need to pay extra for transportation, apartment rental
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
, and expensive meals, which they do not have to pay these payments if they work and study near their home. In conclusion, young individuals decide to move to the big municipality to find better jobs and standard universities to improve their livelihood.
However
Linking Words
, there are cracks in the
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
including mental health problems, and higher costs of living.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, its drawbacks outnumber its benefits.
Submitted by pantamitsaekong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure needs improvement. The ideas are not well-organized and lack connectivity.
task achievement
The essay should be more focused on addressing all parts of the essay prompt. Ensure that the discussion covers both reasons and implications of rural youth migration to urban areas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-urban migration
  • quest
  • higher education institutions
  • job markets
  • allure
  • healthcare
  • technological and infrastructural advancements
  • personal and professional growth
  • brain drain
  • cultural shift
  • traditional values
  • dilution of cultural identity
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • high cost of living
What to do next:
Look at other essays: