Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion?

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Some
people
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believe that the most way
that
Correct word choice
apply
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to bring
people
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of different nationalities and generations together. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
agree with the idea because , in my opinion, there is
music
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all over the world
although
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it is in every language and emotion. There are important reasons for gathering
people
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of different cultures and ages together thanks to
music
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. The
first
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reason
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that
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apply
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is when
people
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who
lives
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live
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in a dissimilar country come together with
music
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. They can share
apply
Correct word choice
and apply
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their idea. That's the way they get used to living together. Communities learn to respect each other even though they have different thoughts about subjects
such
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as religion and politics.
Also
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while listening to
music
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at a concert or festival, meeting new
people
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gain new standpoints about traditions.
Hence
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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don't look through blue glasses against unfamiliar customs. Another important reason is that humanity is clearly able to explain common problems that have through
music
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while they collaborate to live.
For example
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, nowadays there is war among some countries and
people
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reacted in different ways.
Music
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is one of these ways. Some of the musicians wrote songs about war.
Moreover
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,
this
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sing
Replace the word
song
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was
song
Add an article
a song
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by
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apply
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against war as
the
Correct article usage
a
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response to concerts or youtube. To sum up,
music
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that is
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the centrepiece in our life
is
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and is
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means of communicating with
people
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. Especially it is necessary to eliminate differential. Briefly, the best way of joining hands is through
music
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. More event
that is
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inclusive should be arranged provided that we would like to get on well as
people
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.
Submitted by canangul05 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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