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Writing Samples
Band 6

Despite the variety of sport facilities and gyms, people became less fit than ever. What are the major causes?

#variety #sport #facilities #gyms #people
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In the present day, areas for exercise and
sports
Use synonyms
 activities are available for everyone to use more comfortably.
However
Linking Words
, the population have become less healthy than in the past. In my opinion, two main issues for
this
Linking Words
 are that most folk nowadays are lacking in time or money.
Sports
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 clubs and gyms are the places where individuals are used for their workouts, which means they are playing important roles in people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
become healthy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some of them provide trainer-trainee programs, helping their customers exercise even more effectively. Despite all of
this
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, most citizens, living near them, don'
t
Use synonyms
 become healthier and some even worse. In my point of view, many individuals work for very long periods of the day, which affects their health, so most of them become tired after work or find themselves having spent a whole day in their workplace already. Because of
this
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, they don'
t
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 have enough time to care about their health so they aren'
t
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 going to do any exercise or sport, even if there are many places available around. The other reason is their cost. Gyms and
sports
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 kits are very costly, For ,example the membership system and
sports
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 tool rental.
Furthermore
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, the average amount of normal citizen's income is way too low for them to pay for good
sports
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 stuff or any membership.
This
Linking Words
 means they can'
t
Use synonyms
 use gyms or any other actions to take care of their health that much. Sum of all, due to the fact that most folk lack in money and time, even if there are any sporty places or tools laying around they won'
t
Use synonyms
 help people much with their fitness
Submitted by Krapaom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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