Some people think governments should ban dangerous sports, such as skydiving and rock climbing. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the government should prohibit dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as skydiving and rock climbing because they pose serious risks to human life.
However
Linking Words
, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion, as I believe individuals should have the freedom to choose their activities, provided that proper
safety
Use synonyms
measures and regulations are in place. All
sports
Use synonyms
involve a certain degree of risk, and extreme
sports
Use synonyms
are no exception. Many athletes understand that injuries are a possible outcome, yet they continue participating because of their passion and the sense of accomplishment these activities bring.
For example
Linking Words
, skydivers often describe their experience as liberating and exhilarating, helping them overcome fear and build confidence. Prohibiting
such
Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
would take away opportunities for people to challenge themselves and experience personal growth.
Instead
Linking Words
of banning extreme
sports
Use synonyms
, governments should focus on enforcing strict
safety
Use synonyms
regulations and providing proper training.
For instance
Linking Words
, individuals who want to try skydiving or rock climbing should complete certified training programs under the supervision of professionals.
This
Linking Words
would significantly reduce accidents and fatalities
while
Linking Words
allowing people to pursue their interests safely.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the government can monitor and license
sports
Use synonyms
clubs to ensure compliance with
safety
Use synonyms
standards. In conclusion, dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
should not be banned by the government. Rather, they should be carefully regulated to ensure
safety
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
respecting people’s right to freedom and self-expression. With proper training and strict rules, individuals can safely enjoy these thrilling activities without unnecessary restrictions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Strength
Your view is clear. You tell why you do not ban the sport in the first part, and you keep your view in the rest.
Improvement
Try to keep to one main idea and show it in each part. Add a short plan at the end of the introduction.
Strength
Use links between ideas. Words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'so' help. Use simple sign posts like 'first', 'then', 'after' to show steps.
Improvement
Give one or two clear examples that tie to your main idea. Then say how it helps your point.
Improvement
The end should restate your view and sum up the main ideas. Do not repeat the same phrase as in the start.
Strength
The essay starts with a clear view and keeps it through.
Strength
Good use of examples and a practical rule (training and rules).
Strength
The text has a good flow with well placed 'In conclusion'.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: