IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

#anybody #phone #work #time #week #development #effects #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Technology has come
such
Linking Words
 a long way nowadays that
people
Use synonyms
 can make use of their mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 to answer
work
Use synonyms
 or personal calls at any
time
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some negative consequences of
this
Linking Words
 development on individuals and society, I believe that they are outweighed by the positive effects. On the individual aspect, the fact that no
work
Use synonyms
 calls are missed could greatly enhance one’s
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency. As we are living in the era of globalisation, international cooperation between companies is common and necessary. Being able to make calls and discuss with business partners regardless of
time
Use synonyms
 zones is a great advantage. On a larger scale,
this
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 contribute to the development of the economy,
thus
Linking Words
 an increase in the living standard.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can benefit from the fact that their beloved ones are available for a call at any
time
Use synonyms
. One could seek help from their friends and family whenever they
need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
show examples
, which is especially beneficial in case of emergency. And as the flow of information between
people
Use synonyms
 is constant, society will be connected and move forward.
However
Linking Words
, the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 development should not be overlooked. Being able to answer calls all the
time
Use synonyms
 means
people
Use synonyms
 have less privacy, even in their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. It
also
Linking Words
 means that workers have to handle a larger amount of workload and have less quality
time
Use synonyms
 for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the
work
Use synonyms
-life balance could still be maintained by just a simple act of switching off one’s mobile phone whenever
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
 leave the office or do not want to be bothered. In conclusion, despite a few drawbacks, the use of mobile phones for
work
Use synonyms
 and personal calls brings about more benefits to individuals and society.
Submitted by vanthu.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: