IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people work long hours leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
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Nowadays, the majority of employees tend to spend much
time
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for
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apply
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working without
entertain
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entertainment
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. Many point out that long
work
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 hours give
a
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them a
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chance to be masters
of
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in
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 their professions whereas
other
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others
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ones
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apply
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argue that everything
associated
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is associated
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 with
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a drawback
the drawback
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drawback
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drawbacks
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. In my point of view , it opens the door to
have
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apply
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some medical issues among individuals.
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On
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One
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On
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 the one hand , the main benefit of working numerous
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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is that we are able to create more working outcomes. It is undeniable that most
of
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apply
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adolescents
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the adolescents
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 ought to pay attention to
work
Use synonyms
 during much
time
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 , due to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 more
working
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work
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 experience and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 more achievements at
work
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. Taking my brother as an example, he is
a
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an
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 English tutor
therefore
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 he has to increase his knowledge in order to be a professional teacher.
On the other hand
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 , major working professionals prefer to arrange
work
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 rather than spend to have fun
on
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in
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 their interest areas.
To begin
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 with, even working long hours could
be cause
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be caused
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 to develop, entertainment is one oblivious effect to their
organizms
Correct your spelling
organisms
 and workforce. When they spend
time
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to
Change preposition
on
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 their hobbies, it can
be boost
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boost
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 their mood and it
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affects
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effects
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affects
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 all of their
organizms
Correct your spelling
organisms
 positively . In conclusion, having
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weighed
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weighted
Correct your spelling
weighed
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 everything mentioned up, I can come to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 conclusion that many individuals who are employed for a long
time
Use synonyms
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are able to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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professional
of
Change preposition
in
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 their jobs . In my point of view, it has more disadvantageous rather than advantageous.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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