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Band 5.5

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building then is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what is your opinion.

#places #homes #space #countryside #people
In
this
 contemporary era, the requirement for new accommodation can not be neglected in some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world,
besides
 the fact that it can
be build
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
 in the rural
areas
 only as
city
areas
 do not have enough space available.
this
 phenomenon
have
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has
show examples
 contrasting views as it is believed by some people that
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 should be free from any construction of residential buildings. I support the former view of
this
 essay which would be illustrated in the subsequent paragraph. To commence with, finding a place to construct
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 home has
becomes
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become
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 a daunting task as because of
the
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a
show examples
 lot of hustle and bustle in the
city
.
That is
 to say, building a home in the countryside is the only solution where they get ample places to build a dream home.
For example
,
id
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 new
homes
 would
built
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be built
show examples
 in the
city
then
 there would not be any place open for people
for
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to
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 rejuvenation
such
 as parks and gardens and would become more congested
then
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than
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 before.
Thus
, building
homes
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more favourable for dwellers of the nation. Apart from
this
, the ample benefits of living in the countryside can not be underestimated. The alluring atmosphere and clean air would bring joy and upgrade the standard of living as the world is aware
about
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of
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 the depletion of living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 in the
city
 area.
For example
, getting fresh vegetables without any pesticides' would definitely promote
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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 lifestyle.
Hence
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 building
homes
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
 because of its umpteen advantages. To recapitulate, because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 rush in the
city
 area, construction of new
homes
 would make them more congested,
this
 according to me residing in
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 would be more advantageous for the people.
Submitted by bhattumang1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: