The amount of time is spent on sports and exercise should be increased The amount of time is spent on sports and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with this problem?

The headmasters of schools should raise the number of hours in which students exercise or do some sports
for overcoming
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to overcome
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the extra weight. Personally,
although
I agree with
this
statement I opine that there are some other solutions either which might be explained in the forthcoming paragraphs. Nowadays, beginners have a sedentary lifestyle
due to
the development of technology. They tend to play video imagery
instead
of exercising. They don't like to do any physical activities. So, it could be really helpful
to
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if
show examples
some sports are added to the daily curriculum of learners. Team games
such
as soccer or individual sports like swimming might be good choices.
As a result
, pupils tend to do more physical activities
for losing
Change preposition
to lose
show examples
overweight Think there are some other useful works which can be done for
this
issue.
Firstly
, managers of the cafeteria should choose the proper food or lunch at the school. Not only
this
pure food
should
Verb problem
apply
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contain Vegetables, calcium, and protein but
also
they should
have
Rephrase
also have
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no harmful additives.
Secondly
, the
responsible
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responsibility
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of school can decrease the time which
s
Correct your spelling
is
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
using phones for playing video games. They should encourage learners to play physical games just like basketball. By doing
this
, they can explain the history of that play. Plus, they can intend whoever fits to do the most exercise. In conclusion, putting the sport on a school's plan might be a really useful way for students to lose extra weight. Planning for healthy food or controlling time for using phones are some other ways that might be practical.
Submitted by mosumi431985 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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