Music and other arts seem to be features of every society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals?

#music #arts #features #society #societies #individuals

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It is true that different forms of

art

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can be considered as the identity of each community. I would argue that music, painting, photography and other types of

art

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have many benefits for both individuals and

society

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Art

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can

initially

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affect each person in a community in a different positive way.

Firstly

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, it improves their learning skills

due to

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repetitive patterns and rhythm of music and creativity used in other forms

such

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as paintings and handwriting.

For example

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, different styles of paintings, like surrealism, cubism, and impressionism, require deep thinking and concentration to be understood.

Secondly

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, it is able to foster the spirit of kindness in each individual and enhance their personality and character, leading to improving each person's characteristic features like compassion, kindness and humanity.

Lastly

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, it's

also

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a great activity to hold galleries and exhibit different artwork made by artists. It's a relaxing hobby and is a great escape from daily routine.

For example

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, taking photos of picturesque rural areas and stunning landscapes,

as well as

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listening to music and other forms of

art

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, may give everyone a feeling of personal fulfilment. From a different angle, it

also

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has positive impacts on the

society

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. The well-being of individuals can lead to a happier and safer

society

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. People who give more credit for

art

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materials would

consequently

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obey moral rules, which are the foundational element of artwork. In

such

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society

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, the crime rate may fall, and the sense of cooperation and pleasure might increase

instead

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Furthermore

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art

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can link different cultures to each other as it is the source of identity of each community.

For instance

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, people from across the world may participate in musical festivals or

art

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galleries held in a certain country, leading to more cultural interaction and a deep understanding of different traditions. In conclusion, I believe that various types of

art

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have striking merits, whether for individuals or the whole

society

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Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Feb 19 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Although your essay covers the importance of art well, incorporating more diverse and specific examples can further enrich your argument and vividly demonstrate how art influences both society and individuals.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Utilize a variety of connecting phrases and ensure a clearer progression of thoughts. While your essay generally flows well, refining transitional phrases could enhance the readability and the logical flow of your argument.

General Advice

Expanding your range of vocabulary specific to the topic and varying sentence structures can add sophistication to your response. This would not only demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency but also make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Music and other arts seem to be features of every society. In what ways are music and other arts important for societies and for individuals?

Your opinion

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent for you agree or disagree with this opinion?

in many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?