Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #families #areas #university #education #countries #people #universities #authorities

Being able to receive proper

education

is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a human right, including in Indonesia,

however

, there are still many children, especially from disadvantaged families and areas away from the city who do not have access to

education

Therefore

, I strongly agree that universities and authorities must lend a helping hand to

this

population.

First,

families in rural areas tend to lack resources,

this

includes lack of communication devices and transportation. Not only does

this

affect the amount of effort they have to put in, but it is

also

considered unfair, as students from the cities can simply take the bus and train to go to school. An example of

this

is when I went volunteering on the outskirts of Jakarta, and I saw mothers carrying their children across a river just to go to school.

In addition

to the lack of resources,

this

also

means that economically, they are at a disadvantage. For most of them, paying for lunch and breakfast is already a huge burden as they do not receive a lot of income. Adding to that,

education

fees are very expensive these days.

Thus

, it is almost impossible for them to pay fully all the tuition payments without any help from external parties. In conclusion, external parties

such

as authorities, governments, and universities, should help students in difficult situations, just because everyone deserves to receive a proper

education

, whatever their background is.

Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on Sat Feb 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your essay structure is clear and logical by starting with an introduction that outlines the topic and your stance, followed by paragraphs that each introduce a new idea supporting your argument, and concluding with a summary that reinforces your point of view.

Task Achievement

Develop each main point with specific examples and explanations. While you've provided some examples, adding more detailed and diverse situations can enhance the depth of your argument and make your essay more compelling.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs and sentences to ensure that your essay flows smoothly. Using linking words effectively will help in achieving a better coherence and cohesion score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

educational inequality
equitable society
financial aid
scholarships
preparatory courses
educational infrastructure
mentoring programs
affirmative action
distance learning
online learning
remote areas
local communities
aspiring students
financial constraints
bridging the gap

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Life often presents challenging scenarios, like unfulfilling employment or financial difficulties, leading to divergent views on whether to accept these hardships or strive for change. This essay explores both perspectives, ultimately advocating for a balanced approach that acknowledges the value in striving for improvement while understanding the need for acceptance in certain situations.
7.5
band
Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Undoubtedly, an individual’s career is a substantially significant topic that has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. Indeed, it is highly argued by some sections of society that one’s career intention should be to pursue a passion, while others assert that it should focus on earning a livelihood. Despite the fact that the arguments on both sides are valid, I vehemently support the former group.
6.5
band
Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?
The high price of some sophisticated medicines is often attributed as the root cause of some patients' deaths in third-world nations. Pharmaceutical companies are thus requested to sell their products at a discounted price in those parts of the world. I am convinced that only a reduction in prices from manufacturers is not going to solve the problem and in the following I will postulate my reasons. Disease-induced mortality rates have seen a significant downtrend over the last centuries in the developed countries whereas in the low per capita income regions this reduction is still staggering. This inspires the idea that treatment cost optimization can help the scenario and medicine is one of the top components in that budget. First of all, decreasing the selling price only from the company side will not stimulate the local governments to have a concrete sustainable healthcare plan for the long term. This will be just a temporary patch to deal with the scenario. Moreover, such action...
4.5
band
Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email, recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn explain how your friend could learn this sport suggest that you both learn this sport together Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your email as follows: Dear .........................,
Hope you are well. I'm writing this since you've asked for a suggestion for learning a new sport.
8.5
band
There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • Describe the complaints that have been made • Say why the reception area is important • Suggest how the reception area could be improved
I Bipin KC, one of your front desk staff would like to inform you about the increasing complaints by our clients about the front area.

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education in many countries. Some people believe that universities and authorities should help them so that they can get a university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?