IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people move to other countries when they retire, other thinks it is better to retire in their home countries. Discuss both the views and give your own openion.

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Retirement
life
Use synonyms
 is a phase when every working professionals have their own plans.There are groups of
people
Use synonyms
 who believe to spend their post-professional
life
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 foreign
land
Use synonyms
 while others think to spend in
native
Correct pronoun usage
their native
show examples
land
Use synonyms
. Spending
life
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 foreign
land
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to experience new
life
Use synonyms
 and culture while if a person
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 on
land
Use synonyms
 give them social security when they are physically dependent. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of the
coins
Fix the agreement mistake
coin
show examples
 will be scrutinized before passing
final
Add an article
a final
show examples
 verdict.
To Begin
Linking Words
 with,working professionals generally live monotonous
life
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 and spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 full
life
Use synonyms
 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 culture and country ,they can not migrate and visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a foreign
land
Use synonyms
 during their career.
As a result
Linking Words
,many of them opted out to migrate and spend their retirement
life
Use synonyms
 in other countries and experience new
life
Use synonyms
 and culture.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent survey by a leading media house showed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
68% of teachers have never visited any foreign country during their professional
life
Use synonyms
 and would love to live once in future. On the flip side,there is another class of
people
Use synonyms
 who think to stay with family and spend their remaining
life
Use synonyms
 with children and grandson.
To
Replace the word
Too
show examples
 Elaborate,it is seen that
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
 need mental and physical support more with the passage of time as they get older and older.
Moreover
Linking Words
,they seek help and attention in case of illness and injury.In
such
Linking Words
 cases, family only can play a precious role.
For Instance
Linking Words
, it is seen that old ages
people
Use synonyms
 living alone in other countries suffer more than those staying with family. To recapitulate,
people
Use synonyms
 always need someone beside them when they are not able to do their daily living tasks.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is clearly proved that Spending
life
Use synonyms
 in a homeland with family
overweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
overweighs
show examples
 the merits of living in other countries and
this
Linking Words
 essay passes its verdict for the same.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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