Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, but not local people. Why this is the case? What can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

It can seen be that many people prefer to visit
places
such
as
museums
and monuments which are far from their hometown.
This
is because they already know about their local history and they love to go to the
places
they have not seen yet and are curious to visit there.
This
essay
put
Verb problem
sheds
show examples
light on the measures that authorities can take to entice the
residents
toward these sites. To commence with, everyone ignores the things that they already know about like local history. The foremost reason is,
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
already studied about old culture during their schooling,
therefore
, they are visiting the farthest
places
rather than going to the city museum. To explain, many
museums
have old paintings and artworks on the walls which can usually
find
Wrong verb form
be found
show examples
in the newspapers and books.
As a result
,
residents
feel that it will be
wasting
Wrong verb form
a waste
show examples
of time if they go to the
museums
and historical sites.
Hence
, they choose to travel outside the country. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a number of steps that can be taken by the local authorities to tackle
this
problem.
Firstly
, implementing new technological equipment in the
museums
and monuments
such
as laptops and iPods can lure the local masses. To illustrate, the way in which information is delivered is getting old.
Thus
, implementing new methods of representation with the same antique resources and materials, cannot stop the
residents
to come
Change preposition
from coming
show examples
to the monuments.
Therefore
, it is essential to involve the latest technology in traditional
places
. In conclusion, people always prefer to approach
places
where they have not been in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
so that a few technological-related changes can attract a majority of
residents
.
Submitted by inderatwal1996 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay. Make sure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly present and reflect the content of the essay. Use relevant examples to support your points more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the task question. Provide clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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