IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for teachers in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computers #education #role #teachers #classroom
It is argued that
computers
 are going to replace
teachers
 as technology
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more and more widely used in education.
Although
 using
computers
 for teaching has advantages, I tend to believe
teachers
 are the most vital role in education. People in favour of the idea believe that
computers
 are more convenient for
students
 to use.
For example
, they can use
computers
 everywhere. If they want to learn, they can open the website. And if they have some knowledge
misunderstand
Wrong verb form
misunderstanding
show examples
, they can check the videos online again.
In addition
, it is equal
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all the
students
.
Therefore
, there will not have bias,
computers
 treat every student equally. Every teenager will learn
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 thing, the grade usually depends on themselves.
On the other hand
,
teachers
 are more flexible than technology. Tutors can use special ways to teach each student. They can focus on what
students
 don't understand very clearly and answer the questions
which
Change preposition
about which
show examples
 they have doubts in a
time
Replace the word
timely
show examples
 manner. Compare to
teachers
, the knowledge from
computers
 is programmed, they cannot teach
students
 in accordance
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their aptitude.
Additionally
, they can pay attention to
psychological
Correct article usage
the psychological
show examples
 needs of teenagers. Because
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 have
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if
students
 feel depressed, they will be enlightened by
teachers
. It is hard for robots to observe teenagers’
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
show examples
, it is possible for juveniles to have mental diseases. They have no places to release their annoyance. It is possible for them to commit crimes. In conclusion, it is true that robots are more convenient, but I tend to argue that traditional
teachers
 are most significant in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.
Submitted by chenyanbing668 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: