We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information

With the advancements in the field of science, humans jumped from one age to another

first

came the copper age

then

iron , and now the modern age.

Internet

Correct article usage

The Internet

show examples

, being the backbone of today's world has its fair

of advantages and disadvantages.

Furthermore

, the security of knowledge and its control is not safe in today's world, because of the introduction of the

internet

However

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

statement is partially true. Despite, of

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

the best invention of humankind, it is

also

responsible for the birth of

cyber crime

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

show examples

. Which in turn, is responsible for

sufferings

Correct article usage

the sufferings

show examples

and problems of many individuals worldwide.

Privacy

Correct article usage

The privacy

show examples

of any individual is not safe,

additionally

Add a comma

,additionally

show examples

there are frequent breaches in

information

which results in various other problems.

For example

, in today's world

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

is a new kind of war, called cyber war.

In which

Change preposition

Which

show examples

one country tries to steal

information

from any other country, either by hacking into their system or by introducing

virus

Add an article

the virus

a virus

show examples

to their system. With the introduction of

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

, the

information

which was present in files and documents can now be accessed by any

third

party. In comparison to the disadvantages,

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are

fair

Add an article

a fair

show examples

of plus points as well. With the

internet

being the source of sharing

information

and data, people can now

their ideas and voices as well.

For example

, people can now

their product detail and

information

on various sites, which in turn increases the sale of their product. So, there is some positive impact of sharing

information

as well.

Hence

, any product is good or bad it is totally dependent on the person using it.

Submitted by aryanyadav4709 on Sat Oct 08 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global connectivity
digital banking
cybersecurity
data protection
security breaches
cyber attacks
online transactions
digital divide
surveillance
freedom of information
responsible usage
ethical considerations
digital footprints
online behavior
information inequality

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We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, many male leaders had led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it were ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.