The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays
people
use the
internet
more than usual
thence
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, It is held that the
internet
has more effect on
people
than
TV
due to
its popularity. I completely agree that
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
has a greater
impact
and I will provide plausible reasons in my essay.
Firstly
, I think nations use the
Internet
more than average time and they
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
obsessed with
this
platform. A to Z of
people
are now using the
internet
and social media is one of the most popular platforms, if not the most important one so they
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
great places for informing the population about a situation or news.
For example
, businesses
are benefiting
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
the most
due to
advertising and many
people
will believe in those businesses and their products because of their trust in
this
network,
however
, it's not that easy to have successful advertising since fewer
people
watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or follow television pops up. In my opinion, the
internet
has become a great place to
make
Verb problem
raise
show examples
awareness because it's more famous.
Secondly
, fewer and fewer
people
are buying television and more are using the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
is not
well-known
Rephrase
as well-known
show examples
as it used to be and today just a few
people
watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
.
For instance
, there are apps
such
as Netflix and Disney
plus
Capitalize word
Plus
show examples
for watching movies thence, so
people
have found a better way to watch dramas and films. The purchase of
tv
is decreasing and it has no
impact
on the community. In conclusion, the
internet
has grown a lot and has a great
impact
on
people
's lives and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
is not popular enough to have any influence or
impact
on the community.
Submitted by mahsa.mzi83 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction is not well-structured and could be more focused. Ensure that your thesis statement is clearly defined and directly addresses the prompt.
task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks a clear development of ideas. Make sure to focus on the specific points given in the prompt and develop your ideas clearly and coherently.

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