Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you share their optimism? What changes would you like to see in the new century?

The dynamic revolutionary
changes
that are
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
around the
world
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
making it a place
that is
unsuitable for quality of living.
Therefore
, people in the
world
are baring a positive attitude towards the 21st century, and they believe that they will be able to make drastic
changes
that will make the
world
a better place. I
also
share
this
optimisum
Correct your spelling
optimism
and believe that humans will be capable of making drastic
changes
in the upcoming century to ameliorate the quality of life. There is a multitude of reasons why the
world
needs to be changed. The most conspicuous reason is the environmental pollution that can be observed in many countries
due to
their large-scale manufacturing plants that release
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enormous amounts of
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
Change preposition
into
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the natural resources. Nations like China where the air clearance disappears
due to
smoke emitted from the factories
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a better example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
. Another pivotal reason is the declining social norms among human beings which have guided them to behave in an unethical manner which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
increased the amount of crimes in the
world
. A
most
Fix the agreement mistake
main
show examples
reason proof for
this
is,
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
countries have become economically unstable
due to
corrupted politicians,
as well as
elevated rates of conviction. Mostly younger generations are more invested in these matters and are taking measures
such
as organizing campaigns with
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
attitude to make a good impact in future. To overcome these unpleasant circumstances, I think that numerous significant
changes
must be
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
.
Firstly
, the citizens of the globe must be driven towards a mindset of being eco-friendly and protecting the environment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. For
this
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness programs regarding the prevailing ecological
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
such
as global warming, and ozone layer depletion
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be taught
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prophylactic measures to overcome these unfortunate scenarios.
Secondly
, strict legislation must be mandated to stop the rising rates of convictions.
Furthermore
, the individuals must be educated on methods of how to maintain a calm mental state by
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
habits like yoga, and meditation. The more efforts taken to manage these situations, the more the 21st century
becoming
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
better. In conclusion, it can be recapitulated that, with the actions caused by humans during the actions of transforming,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
tremendous damage has been caused.
Nonetheless
, people are baring an optimistic mindset to rectify these when they are moving towards the future, and personally, I hold
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar optimism but believe that extensive measures will be needed to achieve
such
global goals.
Submitted by ashiniuthpala9999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing ideas with clear progression and linking words.
Coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include an introduction and conclusion that succinctly summarize the main points.
Task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the arguments and enhance clarity.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: