Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Many
people
say that sharing more
information
in research , business and education is good
while
others think some
information
is too valuable so it should not be shared openly. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
To begin
with, Nowadays ,Technology plays an important role in human life and our life is incomplete without gadgets
such
as mobile , TVs and computers. The young generation is very active on social media because of
this
any
information
can transfer easily from one person to another person.
For instance
, a recent survey done by the Times of India revealed that 80% of
people
are active on social sites and they are extremely happy to share
information
about themselves on sites through posting or on chat with an online friend . Spending more time on social media makes them feel happy .
Secondly
, Sharing all
information
openly can be dangerous too some political leaders want to take advantage of
this
situation to win in the election.
For example
, In the Uttar Pradesh riots, some
people
were sharing unnecessary fake news on social sites .
As a result
, other religious
people
fumed and it took almost three months to resolve the matter . Everything happened because political leaders were sharing more and more
information
on the news.
To conclude
, In my opinion, sharing all
information
is not a good idea because it may affect an individual life or else it may affect globally. The government should take some necessary action to aware
people
of not sharing all important
information
with strangers.
Submitted by preetiaug25 on

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task achievement
Your essay shows a moderate understanding of task requirements. However, it fails to fully develop the argument for both sides of the issue. It is important to provide a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay could be strengthened. Make sure to use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to signal the progression of ideas. Clearer topic sentences could be used to improve coherence.
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