Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The way of academic pursuit has diversified, depending on the
aspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
aspirations
show examples
of learners.
While
some university
students
may pursue multiple subjects to complement their specialised
knowledge
, others would find it more significant to have single-minded devotion to academic achievements just to obtain a qualification.
This
essay will explore both of these arguments and conclude with why the latter view is more valid.
To begin
with the former view, there are those who claim that learning multiple subjects may enable learners to embody a wide variety of
knowledge
. In today’s extremely variable society, responsiveness to change is one of the aptitudes required for job candidates, which can be obtained by multifaceted
knowledge
gained at college. In fact, in most situations where people have to solve a problem correlated with science, they will be required to integrate their scientific
knowledge
and mathematical skills. Turning to the latter learning option, some people hold the view that putting every effort into obtaining a qualification can allow
students
to procure more prolonged and earnest
knowledge
in their specialisation, which could open their doors to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better job opportunities after graduation. In some occupations,
for instance
, the deeper expertise the candidate holds, the more employers would be tempted to choose them. Taking all of the above into consideration, I am firmly convinced that allocating all time and attention to gaining a qualification is more beneficial to ensure the academic success of
students
.
Although
having multitalented skills could be hugely advantageous in the job market, the risk of failing a major subject
due to
a lack of abilities in time management outweighs
this
advantage.
Therefore
, I conclude that
students
should pursue simplicity in their research at university.
Submitted by T Shiro on

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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt in a clear, comprehensive manner. Work on linking your examples more explicitly to the arguments they support, and consider adding a wider range of examples to fully illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. Introduce more varied linking phrases and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next. This will help your essay read more fluidly and maintain the reader's interest throughout.
Task Achievement
While your essay is well-structured, consider deepening your analysis of each viewpoint. Explore not just the 'what' but the 'why' behind each perspective. This will add depth to your discussion and make your own position more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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