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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #lifestyle #school #parents
At present, Many teenagers are under great pressure in their studies, teenagers are in a state of tension all the time, leading to lack of sleep, anxiety and irritability, which all lead to teenagers
have
Wrong verb form
having
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealthyFactors
Correct your spelling
unhealthy factors
unhealthy factor
 of state.and in
Correct your spelling
order
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 out
this
 problem both
schools
 and
parents
 have responsibilities. On the one hand,As the closest people to their
Correct your spelling
children
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
, It is the responsibility of
parents
 to supervise the development of a healthy life for their
children
.
Parents
 should
also
 pay attention to ensure
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 balanced nutritional intake as much as possible when arranging the diet for their
children
. On the other
Correct your spelling
hand
hnd
Correct your spelling
hand
,
Children
 spend most of their time at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
,they have a responsibility to carry out various forms of
health
 education based on the concept of
health
first
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that students can establish correct
health
 concepts and cultivate healthy
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. Research shows that physical exercise can enhance physical fitness, improve sleep, improve the body's immunity,
eliminate
Correct word choice
and eliminate
show examples
sub-
Add an article
the sub-health
a sub-health
show examples
health
 state of the body, but
also
 can exercise will, enhance resistance to pressure , reducing negative emotions
such
 as depression .
Therefore
,
schools
 should increase the cultivation of young
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 good physical exercise habits,
improve
Correct word choice
and improve
show examples
 the psychological and physical quality of young people.
In addition
 to these two themes the government has a role to play.they should actively cooperate with the school to carry out
health
 education, in order to comprehensively improve Student's
Correct your spelling
healthy
show examples
heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. In conclusion,it seems that both
schools
 and
parents
 have responsibilities,but not the only two.Even if the outside world has done a good job of monitoring and educating the
children
 themselves, they should pay attention to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy lifestyle and develop good habits.Only in
those way
Change the determiner
that way
those ways
show examples
 can we solve the problem.
Submitted by melindaguan0704 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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