Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #lifestyle #school #parents

At present, Many teenagers are under great pressure in their studies, teenagers are in a state of tension all the time, leading to lack of sleep, anxiety and irritability, which all lead to teenagers

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthyFactors

Correct your spelling

unhealthy factors

unhealthy factor

of state.and in

Correct your spelling

order

oder

Correct your spelling

order

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

out

this

problem both

schools

and

parents

have responsibilities. On the one hand,As the closest people to their

Correct your spelling

children

chidren

Correct your spelling

children

, It is the responsibility of

parents

to supervise the development of a healthy life for their

children

Parents

should

also

pay attention to ensure

the

Correct article usage

show examples

balanced nutritional intake as much as possible when arranging the diet for their

children

. On the other

Correct your spelling

hand

hnd

Correct your spelling

hand

Children

spend most of their time at

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

,they have a responsibility to carry out various forms of

health

education based on the concept of

health

first

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that students can establish correct

health

concepts and cultivate healthy

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

. Research shows that physical exercise can enhance physical fitness, improve sleep, improve the body's immunity,

eliminate

Correct word choice

and eliminate

show examples

sub-

Add an article

the sub-health

a sub-health

show examples

health

state of the body, but

also

can exercise will, enhance resistance to pressure , reducing negative emotions

such

as depression .

Therefore

schools

should increase the cultivation of young

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

good physical exercise habits,

improve

Correct word choice

and improve

show examples

the psychological and physical quality of young people.

In addition

to these two themes the government has a role to play.they should actively cooperate with the school to carry out

health

education, in order to comprehensively improve Student's

Correct your spelling

healthy

show examples

heathy

Correct your spelling

healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

. In conclusion,it seems that both

schools

and

parents

have responsibilities,but not the only two.Even if the outside world has done a good job of monitoring and educating the

children

themselves, they should pay attention to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

healthy lifestyle and develop good habits.Only in

those way

Change the determiner

that way

those ways

show examples

can we solve the problem.

Submitted by melindaguan0704 on Sun Oct 09 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others , however , believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.