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Band 5

In some countries the elderly are highly valued and respected, while in others youth is more highly valued. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #youth
While some countries prefer to cherish old age
people
, other cultures cherish
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
. In my opinion,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
 should be more appreciated.Both sides will be discussed in
this
 essay.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, there are many sources, that help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries to develop. It's evident, that the young
generation
 has more knowledge about sources,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will help
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 become better. Unfortunately, as an
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 I can say, that in Kazakhstan young
generation
 is not valued, as it
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
show examples
. The older
generation
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not respect and cannot always understand
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
's interests.
Furthermore
, old age
people
 are not always able to support youth, while knowing that the future in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
's
shoulder
Fix the agreement mistake
shoulders
show examples
. Without any
supportings
Correct your spelling
supporting
 and cherishing,it is going to be more complicated to reach their goals and perspectives.
Moreover
, I should mention
creative
Add an article
the creative
show examples
 side of Lifestyle. It can sound rude, but anyways, the older
generation
 will
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
 for creativity,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 is going to be not quite fascinating. It is evident fact, that young aged
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 much more ideas to do culture's lifestyle
more funny
Replace the words
funnier
show examples
.
In addition
, it is
really
Correct article usage
a really
show examples
 Pleasant fact, that in some cases
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
generation
try
Change the verb form
tries
show examples
 to support
Correct article usage
the youngers
show examples
youngers
Correct your spelling
younger
show examples
, it gives
people
 more motivation to make new creations, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
countrie's
Change noun form
countries'
show examples
 development. For instants, by statistics,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
French culture is more appropriate to appreciate
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
,
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they are of the
modern
Correct quantifier usage
most modern
show examples
 countries in the world. To conclude,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
 should be more valued in the current era. By valuing youth,
people
 can be sure about
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 future achievements.
Furthermore
,
people
 can not worry about
creative
Correct article usage
the creative
show examples
 lifecycle.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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