IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#technology #food #quantities #prices #people #development #change
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With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization,
world
Add an article
the world
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 has changed a lot.
Plethora
Add an article
A plethora
The plethora
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 of changes can be seen in every field across
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
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 of technology.
Through
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay, will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Replace the word
effect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 of
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement on
food
Use synonyms
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, poverty is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major issue facing worldwide. Due to
this
Linking Words
 problem, a lot of children have been detected with malnutrition in some countries
such
Linking Words
 as Somalia,
Correct word choice
and Ithiopea
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Ithiopea
Correct your spelling
Ethiopia
. Today some countries like China, produce
food
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 low cost and large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 using new techniques and they are providing things
such
Linking Words
rice
Change preposition
as rice
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,
eggs
Correct word choice
and eggs
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with
Change preposition
at
show examples
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
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 cost. The other reason is, farming
take
Change the verb form
takes
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 a long time to give products. As well
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 changes productivity may
be
Change the verb form
be decreased
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decrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 artificial producing better than natural
food
Use synonyms
 growing.
However
Linking Words
, today
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering
non-communicable
Change preposition
from non-communicable
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 diseases. As an example, without age difference
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 have
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
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, hypertension and carcinoma. In Apeksha Hospital maharagama
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been increasing
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of patients day by day. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientists
Add an article
the scientists
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 believe
this
Linking Words
 is a bad result of
food
Use synonyms
 technology and they think
people
Use synonyms
 should live in
natural
Change the article
a natural
show examples
 way as
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras
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. The other thing is, farming is the main income of
rural
Change preposition
for rural
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. If decrease the value of natural
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in the market, farmers will be lost their jobs. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages. The positives are,
this
Linking Words
 is the one of
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 for poverty among developing countries. The other one is
,
Remove the comma
apply
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time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
 and cheap thing.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are some negatives
such
Linking Words
 as
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
 for non-communicable diseases and a
thread
Correct your spelling
threat
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
income
Correct article usage
the income
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 of rural
people
Use synonyms
.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
show examples
 I believe artificial
food
Use synonyms
 producing not fair because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health is worth
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 money.
Submitted by chathuminiperera5 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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