At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

These days, the number of young
people
has increased in a few countries, compared to the elderly population. Having new generation aid economic growth and bring happiness
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
society
while
Correct word choice
but
show examples
there
also
will be some drawbacks. It is crystal clear that having more young employees plays a key factor in economic growth. There is no denying the fact that countries need more human resources to enhance their GDP.
For instance
, China is becoming the
first
economic country because of its population growth. Another reason that the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of young
people
would be advantageous is that they are full of energy and bring
sparkle
Add an article
the sparkle
show examples
. These
people
are motivated and can pioneer happiness. Despite these benefits, it is commonly believed that the experience of older
people
should be considered. Elderly
people
can be considered as a milestone not only are they respectful but
also
their golden knowledge can be shared with new generations.
Furthermore
, using the high capacity of
old hand
Add a hyphen
old-hand
show examples
people
leads to developing efficiency. In conclusion, combining
elderly’s
Correct article usage
the elderly’s
show examples
knowledge and experience with young
people
’s motivation and cooperation between them can enhance the quality of life in each country.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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