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Band 3.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
These days, the number of young
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 has increased in a few countries, compared to the elderly population. Having
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 generation aids economic growth and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 happiness to society but there
also
 will be some drawbacks. It is crystal clear that having more young employees plays a key factor in economic growth. There is no denying the fact that countries need more human resources to enhance their GDP.
For instance
, China is becoming the
first
 economic country because of its population growth. Another reason that the number of young
people
 would be advantageous is that they are full of energy and bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sparkle. These
people
 are motivated and can pioneer happiness. Despite these benefits, it is commonly believed that the experience of older
people
 should be considered. Elderly
people
 can be considered as a milestone not only are they respectful but
also
Correct pronoun usage
they also
show examples
 their golden knowledge can be shared with new generations.
Furthermore
, using the high capacity of old-hand
people
 leads to developing efficiency. In conclusion, combining the elderly’s knowledge and experience with young
people
's motivation and cooperation between them can enhance the quality of life in each country.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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