These days older people who have retired often choose to spend money on them. For example on holiday, rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development

Nowadays, it is common practice for retirees to use all their funds for

enjoyment

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of saving and leaving and leaving an inheritance for their offspring. I think

this

Linking Words

is a positive development because it allows elderly

people

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to enjoy the reward of their labour and

also

Linking Words

instils the habit of hard

work

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in young folks. One reason why the aged should expend money on things that will benefit them is to allow for the

enjoyment

Use synonyms

of all the hard

work

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they have done earlier in life.

In other words

Linking Words

, most individuals do not have time for

holidays

Use synonyms

during their active

work

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years, so all the monies saved from these long years of

work

Use synonyms

should be spent on

holidays

Use synonyms

, trips and other activities that bring happiness to them when they retire.

For example

Linking Words

, old

people

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going on

holidays

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will keep them busy and

further

Linking Words

improve their quality of life. Another plus point why elderly ones should use their pension for

enjoyment

Use synonyms

is because it serves as a means of encouragement to young

people

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to imbibe the habit of hard

work

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

form of

enjoyment

Use synonyms

in old age becomes a motivation for those who are young and still in active service to enable them to put in their best at

work

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

Holidays

show examples

holidays

Use synonyms

and travelling around the world become a gratification to those who

work

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and save money in their early years.

For instance

Linking Words

, these

holidays

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reinforce the positive value of hard

work

Use synonyms

in the youth. In conclusion, I think the elderly should spend money on things that make them happy

instead

Linking Words

of setting the finances aside for children.

This

Linking Words

is because the

enjoyment

Use synonyms

is a reward for their Labour and it

also

Linking Words

encourages young

people

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

hard.

beansola

Oct 10, 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion. However, the support for the opinion is limited and lacks depth. More specific examples and detailed explanations would strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, and the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better link ideas within and between sentences.

lexical resource

The range of vocabulary is fairly limited, with some noticeable repetition of words and phrases. More varied and precise vocabulary would enhance the quality of the writing.

grammatical range

While the essay demonstrates control of basic grammatical structures, there are some errors and awkward phrasing that affect the overall coherence and clarity. Pay attention to sentence structure and use of complex grammar to improve the range and accuracy of language.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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These days older people who have retired often choose to spend money on them. For example on holiday, rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon? •Technological improvements •Changes to education systems •Improvements to our diets Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.