IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#criminals #prisons #education #job
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The effectiveness of
prisons
Use synonyms
 in rehabilitating criminals has been widely debated. I believe that
while
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prisons
Use synonyms
 are necessary for deterring
crime
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 and ensuring public safety,
education
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 and
job
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 training should be prioritized as more effective long-term solutions for addressing criminal behaviour.
First,
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prisons
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 often fail to rehabilitate
offenders
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, with high recidivism rates demonstrating that
incarceration
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 alone does little to prevent future
crime
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. Many prisoners come from disadvantaged backgrounds, marked by poverty, lack of
education
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, and unemployment, which are key drivers of criminal behaviour.
Besides
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this
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,without addressing these underlying issues, simply locking
offenders
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 away does not break the cycle of
crime
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. Offering
education
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 and
job
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 training provides individuals with the tools to reintegrate into society. To cite an example,Research shows that inmates who receive vocational training or pursue
education
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 during their sentence are significantly less likely to re-offend upon release.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,These programs empower individuals with skills and qualifications, enabling them to find stable employment and build a life outside of
crime
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.
Moreover
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, rehabilitation programs are often more cost-effective than long-term
incarceration
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.
Prisons
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 are expensive to maintain, and repeated incarcerations
further
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 strain the system.
In addition
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 to
this
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, by investing in
education
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 and
job
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 training, society can reduce the financial burden of mass
incarceration
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while
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 contributing to safer communities in the long run.
However
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,
prisons
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 still play a critical role in protecting society from violent and dangerous individuals. For serious
offenders
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,
incarceration
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 is necessary to ensure public safety and maintain justice. Yet, for non-violent
offenders
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,
education
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 and
job
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 training offer a more constructive approach. In conclusion,
while
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prisons
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 are necessary for certain
offenders
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, I agree that
education
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 and
job
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 training should be a central focus in criminal justice reform. These interventions are more effective in addressing the root causes of
crime
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 and promoting rehabilitation over punishment.
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, ensure that every argument is explicitly tied back to addressing the question of whether imprisonment or education/job training is more effective.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use varied linking words to connect ideas more fluidly, avoiding repetition of similar transitional phrases.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the role of prisons while advocating for education and job training.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing key points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with relevant examples and explanations, effectively illustrating your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • punitive measures
  • mindset
  • behavioral change
  • workforce preparation
  • prospects
  • reoffending
  • employment opportunities
  • socioeconomic
  • low-risk offenders
  • serious offenders
  • balance
  • productive members of society
  • economic burden
  • public safety
  • offender rehabilitation
  • transformative programs
What to do next:
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