The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, many people argue that government expand a sum of money on the renovation of antiquated construction in many megacities.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

However
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,However

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some people believe that the same quantity of bill must spend on assuming contemporary residences and highways advancement.From my point of view,
government
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the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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must focus on both views. On the one hand, historical monuments are one of the key factors to
intiate
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initiate

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of a country.
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Linking Words
Accordingly
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,Accordingly

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several ancient structures usually served as attractive
and
Correct word choice
apply

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landmarks for most tourists
moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

these areas could be regarded as
tourists
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tourist

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of tourists. Consider changing it to singular.

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spots and
visitors
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visitors'
visitor's

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talking or meeting points. To illuminate, the Eiffel Tower in Paris is technically one of the 8 wonders of the world
hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most people would take advantage to travel to
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

well-known place, in order to explore various features and to experience various activities that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

tower offers.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, state funds should be utilized
in
Change preposition
for

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construction accommodations and avenues.It is undeniable that
Correct article usage
the government
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Correct article usage
the government

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government
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government's
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notable responsibility is to society.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, lodging support ought to be presuming primarily to those who are in need.Meanwhile, continuous improvement of highways is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

crucial, obviously,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will immensely boost a country's civilization and industrialization. In conclusion, having weight everything mentioned
up
Change preposition
apply

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, I can come to
a
Correct article usage
the

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conclusion that it is necessary to restore the monuments constructed in the past and erect up-to-date modern apartments,
highways
Correct word choice
and highways

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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because they have their own value.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical significance
  • Urban charm
  • Tourism
  • Revitalizing the economy
  • Aesthetic appeal
  • Environmental sustainability
  • New construction
  • Urban development
  • Infrastructure
  • Cost-effective
  • Long-term benefits
  • Immediate needs
  • Living standards
What to do next:
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