some people claim that the govenment are responsible for children obesity? do you agree or disagree?

this

Linking Words

contemporary epoch, surged

increasing

Replace the word

increase

show examples

in morbidity rates regarding children has become a controversial argument. Whilst some opponents emphasise that the foster parents are in charge of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, some opponents and I adopt a diverse stance. in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

my contention will be

further

Linking Words

explained. to embark on, despite the fact that

Correct your spelling

parents

parenst

Correct your spelling

parents

can put some restrictions to impede their offspring from craving harmful products, the authorities

borne

Correct your spelling

bore

show examples

the brunt of conserving the teenagers' well-being.

this

Linking Words

means that when national institutions monitor restaurants which provide high-

calori

Correct your spelling

calorie

colour

caloric

food and impose stern

Correct your spelling

regulations

regeslations

Correct your spelling

regulations

this

Linking Words

will decrease

availability

Add an article

the availability

show examples

of junk food. an eminent example is that Pizza Hut and Macdonalds, which are quite

upiquities

Correct your spelling

ubiquitous

in Egypt, provide convenience meals which are full of fat and

carbohydates

Correct your spelling

carbohydrates

carbohydrate

Therefore

Linking Words

, what can be said is that national agencies should impose laws to decline manufactured

sandwiches

Fix the agreement mistake

sandwich

show examples

Correct your spelling

consumption

consumbtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

Furthermore

Linking Words

, governmental agencies should launch awareness campaigns to attract

breadwinnwers'

Correct your spelling

breadwinner's

attention to

detrimental

Correct article usage

the detrimental

show examples

effects of carcinogenic food, and fund

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

advertisements on TV.

in other words

Linking Words

, if local authorities pay for commercials and

propagand

Correct your spelling

propaganda

to display the drawbacks of overweight

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

in children,

substantial

Add an article

a substantial

show examples

proportion of dwellers will be more careful.

this

Linking Words

can be witnessed by quite

famous

Correct article usage

a famous

show examples

commercial

Correct your spelling

campaign

compaign

Correct your spelling

campaign

in Egypt when Mo Salah participated in

this

Linking Words

humanitarian mission against obesity.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, in a final analysis, nations can boost

inflencers

Correct your spelling

influencers

and public figures to inform citizens about the demerits of children's obesity. in conclusion, after

this

Linking Words

essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that The

Minestry

Correct your spelling

Ministry

of Health and

Correct your spelling

legislators

regulators

regislators

Correct pronoun usage

its regislators

show examples

are responsible for mitigating the issue of obesity in lower-aged individuals. eventually, I am convinced that without business icons' support, young boys and girls could not have been healthier

ericssonsony551

Oct 10, 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government
weight
children
ads
junk
food
school
meal
law
rule
limit
health
healthy
sport
play
park
city
income
family
home
choice
access
price
tax
label
plan
together
education
activity
exercise

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some people claim that the govenment are responsible for children obesity? do you agree or disagree?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals.

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.