Many people believe that music is just a form of entertaintment, whilst others beliee that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (250 words)

#people #music #form #entertaintment #whilst #beliee #impact #society

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Music

Use synonyms

is known as a form of entertainment for many

people

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. Some

people

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believe that

music

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can be special to them but others believe not. In my opinion, I believe that each individual, their definition of the melodies is different on a person, likes or dislikes. On the one hand,

people

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describe songs as something extremely important to their lives. Some songs can reduce one level of anxiety and depression by expressing emotions thought which cannot be explained in words.

For example

Linking Words

, one of the physiology doctors DrNick Grants did an experiment with

music

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, apply to patients who have anxiety.

As a result

Linking Words

music

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melody has a huge power to help the patients calm down their mindset.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

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define

music

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as just a way of entertaining themselves . They don't have the talent to feel the meaning of melody, they just only listen when they are bored. For those beautiful

music

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are just dispensable to them.

However

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, they believe spending more time doing other things would be more valuable than listening to a melody.

For example

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, a girl who really likes high-intensity training will prefer to do what she loves

instead

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of listening

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music

Change preposition

to music

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. She will only listen to

music

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when she is bored. In conclusion,

although

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some individuals will believe

music

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contains a strong connection with the human brain, others will not believe that. Everyone has their own tastes, and the meaning of

Remove the article

apply

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activity will change depending on what they like or dislike.

Submitted by yumiwong1212123 on Mon Oct 10 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Many people believe that music is just a form of entertaintment, whilst others beliee that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (250 words)

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Art claseses, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages of reading e-books outweigh its disadvantages?

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

In many places, new houses are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?