Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,with

large

Change the article

a large

show examples

amount of entertainment

device

Fix the agreement mistake

devices

show examples

being produced and more different kinds of

food

being imported and exported,people,especially

children

,are more likely to develop unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

since it is very easy for them to be enticed by junk

food

and

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

games.While admitting that

parents

should take responsibility for solving the

problem

and the number of

children

who have unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

is large,I do not share the opinion that schools should

also

be responsible for resolving

this

problem

. On the one hand,there are several reasons why I support the ideas that many

children

now have unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and

parents

should be responsible for solving

this

problem

.

First

of all,because of the increasing pressure of study,

children

are more thirst for having fun and enjoying themselves.

However

,as the ability

of

Change preposition

to

show examples

controling

Correct your spelling

controlling

themselves is not strong enough to prevent

children

from being addicted to computer games or other things,it is very common to hear the news that some

children

have played the games whole night with

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

no homework.

Secondly

,as for the most important people in

children

’s

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

,it is

parents’

Correct article usage

the parents’

show examples

duty to help their

kids’

Change noun form

kids

show examples

develop

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

lifestyle

.

For example

,they can control the time

children

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

their phones,they can

also

cook

food

for their

children

as often as possible and restrict the pocket money

children

have,so it is less possible for

children

to buy junk

food

on the street.If

parents

don’t play a role in supervising their

children

,no one else can do that.

On the other hand

,I

against

Add a missing verb

am against

show examples

the opinion that schools should take responsibility for solving the

problem

for the following reasons.

Firstly

,as the most important thing for

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

to do is to teach

children

knowledge

instead

of

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

,

so

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it is not their duty to solve the

problem

which has been mentioned above.

Secondly

,different people have different ways

in

Change preposition

of

show examples

defining

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

because of their personal physical condition.Since a

teacher

should teach more than 20 students,it is very difficult for

teacher

Add an article

a teacher

the teacher

show examples

to understand everyone.So if

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

use

Change the verb form

uses

show examples

a strong-arm method,it might be harmful to some special

children

.

For example

,if a

children

Change the noun form

child

show examples

doesn’t live with their

parents

,and the

teacher

doesn’t allow him to use his phone,it must be difficult for him to live on himself without it. In conclusion,it seems to me that

parents

should take responsibility to solve the

problem

as

large

Correct article usage

a large

show examples

number of

children

have

unhealthy

Correct article usage

an unhealthy

show examples

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

,but there is no need for schools to do that.