Human actuvity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring a change.

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Human activity has had a significant negative impact on plants and animals around the world. From pollution to deforestation, so many ecosystems have been damaged pulling numerous species at risk.
While
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some people argue that
this
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situation cannot be changed, others believe that there are still actions that can improve the condition of our planet. On the one hand, it is understandable why some think the damage is irreversible.
Industrialization
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Industrialisation
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has led to high levels of pollution, including exhaust fumes from vehicles and factories, which harm both wildlife and plant life.
In addition
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, toxic waste is often dumped into rivers and oceans, destroying habitats. Illegal hunting is
also
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a serious issue as poachers continue to threaten endangered species. Combined with natural disasters, which may be intensified by climate change.
On the other hand
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, many believe that the change is still possible. Governments and people can adopt environmentally friendly practices,
such
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as reducing emissions, recycling, and protecting natural areas. Laws against poaching can be strengthened and better enforced, helping to preserve endangered animals.
Also
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, raising awareness about environmental issues can encourage people to take responsibility for their actions. In conclusion, in my opinion, I agree with the view that actions can be taken to improve the situation.
Although
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the damage caused by human activities is serious, I think that it is not too late for a change. With a collective effort and stronger laws, we can protect plants and animals and create a better future for the environment.

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task response
Task response: Answer both sides more fully. You say why some people think change is not possible, and why others think it is possible, but you can add one more clear idea for each side.
task response
Task response: Use more specific examples. For example, name one law, one place, or one action that helped animals or plants.
task response
Task response: Some ideas are clear, but a few parts are not fully developed. Explain how each human action causes harm step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-paragraph structure, which is good. To make it stronger, link ideas inside paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: One sentence is not complete: 'Combined with natural disasters, which may be intensified by climate change.' Make this a full sentence and connect it to the point before it.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Try to use linking words with more care. You already use 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' well, but you can also use simple links like 'because', 'so', and 'as a result' to show cause and effect.
task response
Task response: You clearly give your opinion in the end, and your position is easy to understand.
task response
Task response: Your ideas stay on the topic and are relevant to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has a clear purpose.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You have both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps the essay feel complete.
Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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