IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that students at university should live far away from home while others argue living at home with their parents sounds better. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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In recent years, the debate over whether
students
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 should stay closer to their family during university studies, or should do the long distance has been a hot topic. In my opinion,  young people should opt for university studies away from their
parents
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 as it can be useful for them to grow as a person in different ways.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints and demonstrate my viewpoint with a clear explanation. On the one hand, by distancing themselves from the
parents
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students
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 can be able to explore more real-life scenarios.
For example
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, doing grocery shopping or calculating living expenses. Coming out of a comfort zone like home can be difficult for  young adults, but  having control of their actions can be useful for them to learn and grow as an individual.
For example
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, the basic essential skills, like cooking, doing laundry and organising can be taught from
this
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 lifestyle.  
Due to
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 excess dependency on
parents
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students
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 often neglect these daily tasks as unnecessary.
Therefore
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, living away from their
parents
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 can be beneficial to the
students
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.
On the other hand
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, being close to the family can help college
students
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 to be more relaxed,
while
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 they are concentrating on studies. A university education is considered  the most significant step of a student's milestones, so the pressure on those times can be extreme.
Therefore
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, if
students
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 are able to live with their
parents
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, they may feel less stressed as the
parents
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 can look after them
while
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also
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 providing emotional support. In conclusion, I would argue that college
students
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 should choose to live away from their families, so they can learn and unlearn many things by exploring the outer world more closely.
However
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, it is
also
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 logical to be closer to your
parents
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 since they can prevent their physical and mental burnout, which they
otherwise
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 suffer from living by themselves.
However
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, excess reliability on
parents
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 can prevent young people from growing mature and doing fundamental duties as an adult.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed with clear examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider refining the transitions between your paragraphs for smoother connections, as this will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Aim for a more balanced discussion in terms of opportunities and challenges related to both viewpoints. This could show a more nuanced understanding.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both views, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs that each focus on a specific point, which facilitates reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • emotional support
  • financial burden
  • problem-solving skills
  • diverse social experience
  • cultural awareness
  • academic pressures
  • comfort and stability
  • support system
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