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Band 7.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic #people #government #rise #obesity #children
In our modern age, one of the global issues that we are currently facing is obesity. Unfortunately,
this
 health problem has affected not only adults but
also
 children immensely. Some people argue that government should be the one to blame for the situation. I fully agree with the statement and the following paragraphs will elaborate on my view as well as give a logical conclusion on the said matter. I strongly believe that the government plays a vital part in the community controlling the commodities. If it would put more tax on items that are unhealthy
such
 as soft drinks, chips and chocolates, parents can avoid purchasing these products for their kids.
For instance
, most families in the United States are part of the middle class and they tend to buy processed foods because it is way cheaper compared to fruits and vegetables from the market. Like Mcdonald’s, it is now considered one of the fastest-growing food chains all over the world because of its service and affordable price. Nowadays, people are willing to compromise their families’ health over price tag to survive on daily basis. Another thing that the authority can do is advocate healthy eating habits, especially in schools. It is a way of educating students about the benefits of having good meals and the potential dangers of oily and sugary products. In the Philippines, the administration has proclaimed the month of July as Nutrition Month. It is a period where young people get to explore different nutritious meals that can make their bodies healthy and strong. Schools do culminate activities like cooking shows, poster-making activities, read-aloud stories and composing songs to advocate the program. To conclude, I totally agree that our global leaders can make a huge difference in stopping obesity issues by controlling the price of our commodities as well as creating health campaigns in schools for kids.
Submitted by feline_magno on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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