In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issues be solved?
There is a common situation that the decline of several species in nature become a norm. From
this
author's perspective, the main contributor to this
problem is human activities
, and it can be solved by some social actions and official implementation from the authorities.
Firstly
, the loss of many species originates from several social activities
. When people do any actions such
as industrialization or construction, they will destroy the natural habitat for the majority of animals
and plants around the world. What is more, all activities
that humans implement will have several detrimental effects on the natural world due to
some harmful products in the process like CO2 which originates from vehicles making animals
not have suitable air for living or some toxic substances in the industry toxify plants in local areas. Furthermore
, humans tend to cut down trees for some constructions and do overhunting, causing some dire consequences for ecosystems such
as the extinction of animals
like giant pandas or Tasmanian tigers, or the shortage of trees on the Earth.
In terms of solving the problem, the most viable way is to impose rules to protect the environment. For instance
, governments can apply some stringent ways like having a high fine for businesses releasing rubbish to local zones. Moreover
, the government can utilize their residents' power to reduce the worsening of the environment by encouraging inhabitants to plant more trees or helping people raise awareness of some potential dangers to the environment like using personal vehicles or non-biodegradable materials. Worldwide collaboration among humans can prevent the number of plants and animals
from declining due to
its popularity and efficiency.
In conclusion, the deterioration of natural species originates from many human activities
like the industrialization of construction because of the development of technology and essential needs. Besides
that, the authorities can solve this
problem through their official implementation and wide influence.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
You have clearly identified the problem and proposed solutions. However, some points could be expanded upon further, and more specific examples would enhance your essay. For example, providing real-world examples of government initiatives or mentioning key international collaborations would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Some sentences feel a bit disjointed, and using linking words can help enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, try to avoid repetition of words and phrases within the essay, as this can impact readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookends your points effectively.
task achievement
You have identified human activities as the main cause of species decline and suggested government action and community participation as solutions, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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