IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural back ground living together in the same country makes the country to develop faster.do you agree

#people #nationalities #ground #country
Different minorities living in the same
country
enhances
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
show examples
 faster development, which I definitely strongly agree
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
 My pros and cons will be elaborated
below
Change preposition
on below
show examples
. Nowadays, as we can see that celebrities either in the field of academic or
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sports
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not a native
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that certain
country
. If we have to take a deeper look,
then
 certainly we can conclude that majority is coming from
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
mixed breeding.
This
 is the positive outcome of living and meeting socially. Having different nationalities is a great impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one's
country
 due to the contribution that they can share based on their expertise. As we can say more head is better than one. A definite example is that a greater number of professionals
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to migrate to a more productive
country
 to study or work. With
this
, both sides benefited, the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 satisfaction is that
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
short listing
Correct your spelling
shortlisting
show examples
 for employment has been filled up, and the
migrants
Change to a genitive case
migrant's
migrants'
show examples
 side is financial and status security. Another thing is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the knowledge of a person will improve or
developed
Change the form of the verb
develop
show examples
 more due to the high and progressive technologies that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been utilised.
Nevertheless
,
mixture
Add an article
a mixture
the mixture
show examples
 of things can contribute to the development of a
country
, which has been proven in many aspects and
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 of expertise.
Submitted by clyde2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: