IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that students should wear school uniforms, while others believe they should be free to wear what they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Schools tend to have a mandatory policy in which
students
Use synonyms
 have to wear uniforms to
school
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 many argue that it is better for
students
Use synonyms
 to follow the
uniform
Use synonyms
 policy, others stand with the idea that young individuals should be given the freedom to express themselves and should choose their own attire. I believe that requiring uniforms is the better approach and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall discuss both views and explain my own perspective. Having a
school
Use synonyms
uniform
Use synonyms
 serves equality between
students
Use synonyms
 where social backgrounds and status are negligible in which everyone appears the same.
This
Linking Words
 accounts for less bullying between
students
Use synonyms
 and it can boost student's confidence and self-esteem. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, the boost in confidence can
also
Linking Words
 lead to less social anxiety and even better academic quality as
students
Use synonyms
 tend to not care about their appearance so much and can put in effort in their
school
Use synonyms
 work.
Besides
Linking Words
, having a standard
uniform
Use synonyms
 can save a lot of time for both parents and
students
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the time wasted on deciding what you
shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
 wear can be spent on something more useful like having a healthy breakfast or finishing some
school
Use synonyms
 work before heading to
school
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is an argument where people believe that uniforms can take away the fun of how younger generations tend to express themselves through clothes. They are forced to wear the same clothes every day for several years in return,
this
Linking Words
 could cause them to not know what their own attire or style actually is.
Also
Linking Words
, wearing what you want to
school
Use synonyms
 can prepare
students
Use synonyms
 for real life later on.
This
Linking Words
 accounts for, knowing their style early on in life and not being afraid to express it ,
hence
Linking Words
 becoming more confident. In conclusion, both arguments serve strong points but, from my standpoint, I believe that the
uniform
Use synonyms
 policy has far more merits. Having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of equality between
students
Use synonyms
 with a boost of confidence
as well as
Linking Words
 bettering their academic skills is far more important than their appearance. Accounting for a healthy mental environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of that paragraph. This will enhance coherence and the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples or explanations to make them more relevant and specific. For instance, you might elaborate on how reduced bullying specifically translates to academic benefits.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the structure of the essay, which provides a good roadmap for the reader.
content
Your arguments for the benefits of uniforms, such as equality and time-saving, are well-founded and relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: