The young can get easily influenced by the internet. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to exercise more control over their use of the internet. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
internet
is an unavoidable thing at the time. The world will stop without a network connection. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most of all organizations are connected with
this
root. Not only youngsters but
also
all age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
people are using the
internet
in their daily life. I strongly agreed that network connections are directly related to youth people. There are so many reasons we consider that youths get easily attracted by the web connection. To commence with the children from their childhood already
parents
have introduced them to the world of
internet
.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school is an easy way to get busy and entertained. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are so many ways available.
For example
, there are a lot of games, social media, and movies that are easily accessible with a single click.
Furthermore
,
parents
are busy with their life and they have no time to spend with their children even for their studies.
Parents
are given
Change the verb form
have given
show examples
pass
Correct your spelling
past
show examples
the duties of modern technologies. So youngsters can find the solution through the
internet
.
Moreover
, they don't know the alternative ways. Another approach would be to suggest children go into encouraging positive behaviour
such
as reading and the other informative article. The youngster could be encouraged by teachers and
parents
to other ways of study and join clubs.
Moreover
, go for tours and outings with friends. In conclusion, I would say excess of everything is bad and there should be a limit for youngsters the use of the
internet
and it should be regularly checked by elders.
Submitted by vishnuthandemgattil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: