IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The population of many cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects on people living in these cities? What can be done to maintain the quality of life of these people?

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It is undeniable that many metropolitans are experiencing many problems caused by the rapidly increasing number of citizens.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem creates adverse impacts on city residents and should be addressed by taking the following solutions. Overpopulation in urban areas has negative impacts on the quality of life for anyone living there. One of the obvious effects is that it worsens
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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traffic congestion and raises incidents on
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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roads.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 living in Ho Chi Minh City have to waste too much time traveling during peak hours which leads to being late for work or reducing the level of productivity. Another undesirable impact is the air and noise population stemming from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend. The more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 living and working in big cities, the more gas emissions
released
Add a missing verb
are released

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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 by vehicles. Polluted air may pose several threats
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 citizens’ health
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as respiratory diseases, headaches or serious mental health. To tackle the extended population in large cities, the government and urban policymakers should take responsibility. One of the notable ways to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue is that the government should apply immigration policies to mitigate the trend.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the national governments can subsidize
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who choose to live and work in the countryside and provide cutting-edge technologies to develop the economy in rural areas. Another solution
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 be implemented is that policymakers and authorities should diversify the means of transportation to alleviate the traffic jams in rush hours and construct more trees to mitigate toxic gas emissions. And to curb the detrimental health effects on urban residents, better healthcare should be applied.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, overpopulation is happening rapidly in big cities leading to negative impacts on social and individual levels, particularly on
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 living here and several remedies should be taken to mitigate
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the issue of growing urban populations and its adverse impacts. You have effectively outlined the problems and suggested solutions, which shows a complete understanding of the task. However, consider offering more varied examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, with clear paragraphs that focus on specific points. Try to use more linking words and expressions to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, enhancing overall cohesion and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points effectively, highlighting good coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, particularly referencing Ho Chi Minh City, is excellent. These examples validate your points and make your argument more relatable and persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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