IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many parts of the world, people look up their family history. Some people think that researching previous generations is a good idea but others think that it is better to be focused on the present and future generation\s. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parts #world #people #history #generations #idea #future #generation\s
People have started to look at their roots and family history in order to understand more about them.
This
 essay will discuss both the views of society looking back at the previous generations and the other set looking more at the present and the forthcoming. In order to understand the way we are and think depends more on our ancestors as it has been passed on for several generations. In few clans of the population often follow a set of food and cultural practices which might have been lost
due to
 modernization.
For example
, simple medical remedies, and food practices are been revived now, thanks to the group of society that looked, researched and brought them to light. On the other ,hand there are certain groups of individuals, who are not interested in looking back rather
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they would to focus on the time at hand and think about the perspective.
Although
 it is great to look back
however
 it's not going to enable us to grow into where we would to, as the present is far away from the past in terms of culture, cuisine, technology and economy.
For example
, computers have completely changed the game in their head, in order to be on par or to be ahead of the curve we have to be on our toes in adapting and looking forward to the forthcoming as these have no references in the past. In summary, for various reasons mentioned population look back at their history to gain knowledge and understanding of themselves and
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 few of them concentrate on the present and working for the impending as the current trends are completely different from what past generations faced. In my opinion, we have to focus on today and gear ourselves for the forthcoming because that's where we are heading.
Submitted by p.john.ebenezer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the two views but lacks clear development of arguments and supporting examples. The conclusion is weak and does not effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by presenting both views, but the arguments and examples are not fully developed. More focus should be given to presenting comprehensive ideas with well-supported examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • genealogy
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • proponents
  • ancestry
  • delving
  • foster
  • nostalgia
  • idealizes
  • preservation
  • societal developments
  • classism
  • racism
  • lineage
  • social cohesion
  • equality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: