With the rapid growth of artificial intelligence, in the near future companies will begin reducing the number of employees working for them and use AI to get jobs done instead, eventually leading to massive unemployment worldwide.
A current topic of debate is whether robots with artificial intelligence will replace human
workers
in the future
. The rapid evolution of technology has benefited large industries by automating many of their processes with intelligent robots. However
, we must consider the benefits and potential drawbacks of this
new scenario.
The great benefit of integrating artificial intelligence into industry would be using robotics as a workforce, increasing productivity, and improving efficiency. For example
, if robotics were implemented in production lines with repetitive and precise tasks, it would allow the human worker to enhance other more competitive and complex work areas. Unlike the classics, new employment opportunities should be created in this
new industrial concept, adapting them to the needs of society and delegating routine activities to artificial intelligence.
However
, this
technological idealism has its drawbacks. Attributing specific jobs to robotics would generate unemployment and economic inequality. Even if other new jobs were created, many workers
would not have the capacity to adapt to the new job skills. Ignorance of a future
job generates opposition to progress, so it is essential to find a balance between the implementation of technological innovations in industry and their consequences in today's society.
In conclusion, the idealism of a future
replacement of human workers
by artificially intelligent robots is a delicate and complex issue. Although
the future
benefits to industry in improving efficiency and productivity and creating a new concept of employment are undeniable, society is not ready for this
until new opportunities are created by enhancing the skills of the replaced workers
. The key to success lies in balancing technological advances and social responsibility.Submitted by ximmaph on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. While the essay presents a well-structured argument, it can benefit from clearer transitions and improved paragraph coherence to guide the reader more effectively through the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Provide an introduction and conclusion that clearly state the topic and summarize the main points of the essay. You have presented an introduction and conclusion; however, the conclusion can be strengthened by more explicitly reiterating the essay's key arguments and your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with relevant explanations and examples. Your essay includes relevant discussions, but concrete examples are sparse. The use of more specific, detailed examples can enhance the supporting arguments and provide tangible evidence for your points.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt by responding to all parts of the task. Your essay adequately handles the topic, but it would benefit from a more explicit discussion on the potential coping strategies for those impacted by AI in the workplace - in other words, 'how society can prepare for such changes.'
task achievement
Ideas should be clear, comprehensive, and presented in a logical order. Your ideas are comprehensible and generally well-ordered; however, refining this aspect to articulate your points more clearly will allow for a more compelling argument.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. The essay could be improved by including stronger and more detailed examples related to the impact of AI on employment and how specific industries or job roles may be affected.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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