IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children’s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #children’s #life #skills #time
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Technology has been escalating day by day in today’s contemporary era.
Therefore
, few masses think that spending their Leisure
time
 in a plethora of virtual
activities
 does more fruitful for enhancing
children
’s life
skills
 than reading books. I totally agree with
this
 statement
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
 a few drawbacks
this
 statement is discussed in forthcoming paragraphs. Commencing with multiple salient reasons, why spending their free
time
 reading is beneficial for
children
’s bright future.
First
 and foremost is that reading is very fruitful for enhancing the
grammar
 level of raw minds, because, in ,books all materials are given in detail and
also
 with correct
grammar
, so that if younger read several books in their daily schedule
then
 they easily improve their
grammar
skills
 as well as enhance their knowledge.
For instance
, recently a survey was conducted by (BBC) British Broadcast Community and the result shows nearly 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
children
 improve their
grammar
 with the help of readings,
similarly
, enhancing their knowledge. Eventually, spending their free
time
 reading is very beneficial for
children
's fruitful growth. Despite the given ,arguments there are umpteen reasons, why utilising their leisure in their free
time
 in other
activities
 is good for the younger.
To begin
 with, it is very helpful in learning new things, as, due to active
activities
children
 could learn so many things in their daily life,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 spending
time
 on virtual education enhance raw minds’ various skill,
hence
, it is
also
 a source of entertainment, as per
this
 fact,
children
 learn a plethora of skill in their daily life with interest.
For example
, a report shows almost 60 proportion
children
 learn umpteen
skills
 with the help of active gizmos.
Moreover
, it
also
 hikes pupils’ interest in lean new
skills
. To sum up,
although
, reading is enhance
grammar
 and knowledge of tutees, yet, other
activities
 are much more beneficial for raw minds with help in making interest and helpful for lean new
skills
 easily.
Submitted by puneetpalsinghsidhu on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Problem-solving
  • Imagination
  • Empathy
  • Communication skills
  • Balanced skill development
  • Digital media
  • Leisure time
  • Cultural influences
  • Societal influences
  • Physical fitness
  • Academic achievements
  • Intellectual activities
  • Pastime
  • Life skills
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