Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There has been always a heated debate when it comes to parenting, particularly around the notion of whether we should encourage our
kids
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to take
risks
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, or even make
mistakes
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.
While
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some
parents
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argue that we should protect our
kids
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from any emerging
risks
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, others believe that
children
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should be supported to challenge themselves and learn from their own
mistakes
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. From my personal perspective,
both
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viewpoints have merits which are worthwhile to be explored and discussed in
this
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essay. First and foremost, all
parents
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and carers should shelter their young
kids
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from any critical
risks
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or dangers.
This
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is clearly illustrated in the child protection law, mandating
parents
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to be responsible for the health and safety of their
kids
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until the age of 18.
Also
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,
parents
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can teach and pass on good values to their
kids
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.
For instance
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, they can model how to make ethical decisions in life and prohibit
kids
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from making criminal
mistakes
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that are detrimental to society, including robberies, rapping, and more.
In other words
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,
parents
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have the obligation and capability to guide their
children
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, to ensure all
kids
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have promising bright futures.
In contrast
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to the preceding discussion, it is
also
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of great importance to enable our young
kids
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to challenge themselves to elicit their knowledge and develop life skillsets via an inquiry-based approach.
According to
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the notion of constructivism theory in learning,
children
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need to actively construct the learning from inquiries, where they need to jump out of their comfort zone to experiment with new things.
Hence
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, in
this
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learning process, it is unavoidable to make
mistakes
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. As
a
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the
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saying goes, mistake is the mother of success. If we deprive our
kids
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of the opportunities to make
mistakes
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, they will not be able to develop skills to combat challenges.
This
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,
therefore
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, results in a weaker mentality where they will easily panic when encountering emergent issues. In my opinion,
both
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views should not be overlooked. It is essential to fulfil our responsibility as
the
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apply
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caretakers to take good care of our
children
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. At the same time, we should
also
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motivate them to take reasonable
risks
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to help them develop
further
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,
both
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intellectually and physically.
Although
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this
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sounds hard to achieve, the merits of having
such
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an approach would far outweigh its con. In a nutshell, it is undeniable that enabling
kids
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to make
mistakes
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is beneficial for our
children
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in the long run. We
also
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acknowledge the fact that
parents
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are obligated to protect
kids
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from any harm or
risks
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. With the intention of prescribing the best future for our
kids
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,
both
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aspects should be taken seriously and we should facilitate them to learn from
mistakes
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.
Submitted by robbieyan666 on

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task achievement
While the essay effectively presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, further emphasis on the analysis of specific examples could enhance the depth of response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas by maintaining a more fluent connection between sentences in some parts of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are very clear and effectively frame the essay with a comprehensive overview and summary of points made.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded response to the task with clear explanations of both perspectives and an opinion.
task achievement
Good use of terminology related to parenting and child development adds depth and relevance to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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