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Band 7.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, it is said that politicians spending bills on art, namely music and movie losing cash. They should spend more money on public services because there are a lot of needy communities
such
 as the sick, poor, and disabled nation. I strongly agree with the statement as it is more crucial for society. The reasons in-depth will be mentioned in the following essay. To commence with, nowadays there are a considerable amount of museums and cinemas supported by the government,
hence
 it provides an opportunity for folks to go there to learn the historical background, sense or art, and
likewise
 entertain the time.
However
, it costs a large amount of pay even if there are a significant number of society are struggling with diseases, have no school, as well as a lot of unemployment.
Although
 they need to have help, there is not enough funding because the city hall focuses on making amusement facilities
instead
 of it. The council should play a crucial role in supporting the public since it can lead to making a happier and safer city. It is said that the sick public is complicated to get a job with respect to healthy folks, it may impact to be poor.
In addition
, poverty can generate more criminals than riches.
Therefore
, the authorities must pay attention to making a place to work for those and help pay for the treatment.
Moreover
, the administration ought to build a free school, it can let the population have the knowledge or skills to work and set up a business which may make a country flourish. To sum up, even though it is important to have public places for relishing, I completely believe that it is absolutely vital to spend capital on helping the needy public to make the town more delighted and less amount of criminals.
Submitted by roymoko0921 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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