IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
It has become a heated debate whether in professions that
people
 lived with
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their daily
life
 taking
risks
 has more positive effects or not. In my opinion, it is clear that taking
risks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both aspects has more benefits than drawbacks, and I will discuss it in the following essays. For
people
’s professional fields, it does have
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 positive influence on being risky than negative. The primary
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 taking
risks
 is that
people
 would be able to earn more and better opportunities for their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 than those more stable choices.
Moreover
, the higher
risks
 they take, the higher rewards they gain. All the rewards
such
 as money, promotion and welfare come along with tough decisions. In spite of the pros mentioned above, we should not ignore the cons brought up by those dangerous decisions. There is
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 doubt that taking
risks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one’s profession may lead to unstableness
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
.
On the other hand
, having
risks
also
 benefits
people
’s personal lives. A great example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 would be those outdoor activities.
People
 develop that kind of hobby to
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 their
life
 and find some unique
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 for themselves.
In addition
, allowing some little
risks
 to
exist
Change the verb form
existing
show examples
 in our daily
life
 will bring tons of joy and motivation. Many
people
,
for example
, claim that those exciting moments along with
risks
 fulfilled and bring different meanings to their
life
.
However
,
risks
 do cause some negative impacts on our lives.
People
 living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a risky lifestyle are often related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 irresponsibility and selfishness, which contribute to the potential threats to their family
life
. In conclusion, after considering the contents mentioned above, I strongly believe that taking
risks
 has
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 positive influence on both one’s professional and personal lives than negative.
Submitted by aslenxd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: