Some think schools should rewards students who have the best academic results, while others think it’s more important to reward students who achieve other types of success (such as sports, music, and good behavior). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that school rewards contribute positively toward
students
. Some people think that it is more valuable to reward
students
with distinct academic performance,
while
others believe it is more important to reward
students
with other types of success: sports, music, good behaviour, etc.
This
essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, rewarding pupils for their academic achievements
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
students
excel in their studies.
Thus
, they will help their brain to grow healthily.
In other words
, academic subjects cover necessary subjects that stimulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brain growth and prepare youngsters for a bright future.
For example
, if a teacher appreciates the academic achievements of
students
they will encourage the low-grade
students
to do their best.
On the other hand
, rewarding school kids based on other types of success could encourage them to identify their strengths and hobbies. It will
also
help them excel and develop their character.
For instance
, if a student is doing poorly in a specific subject they will still be confident in another. So
this
allows all
students
to be successful and distribute their achievements evenly.
This
will create a healthy and positive environment that encourages everyone.
To conclude
, there is a conflict in ideas about prioritizing rewards for
students
whether they should be based on academic performance or other types of success. I completely stand with the latter opinion because every student is different and
this
will help all
students
with different talents to do their best and be appreciated for that.
Submitted by archmaha.14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs effectively. Work on the logical flow of your argument, ensuring that each point leads naturally to the next.
task achievement
Clarify your main points with distinct topic sentences and make sure each body paragraph has a clear central idea. Offer expanded explanations and develop your arguments further to ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic. Use examples from real-life situations, studies or personal experiences to make your essay more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Scholastic achievement
  • Intellectual effort
  • Merit-based
  • Academic excellence
  • Educational outcomes
  • Well-rounded development
  • Multiple intelligences
  • Fosters self-esteem
  • Extracurricular involvement
  • Personal growth
  • Holistic approach
  • Diverse talents
  • Societal implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: